Salvador Dali Exhumed!

Yes, it is not possible to own Salvador Dali.

Yes, anyone may purchase Dali’s Femme au Clown (1968-1969), available from Christopher-Clark Fine Art in San Francisco.

Yes, a tarot-card reader born in 1956 to a maid in Madrid claims to be the daughter of Salvador Dali, reports El Mundo.

Yes, it is true Dali was conceived almost immediately after the death of his brother. 

Yes, Dali’s parents told him he was the reincarnation of his brother. 

Yes, it is true Dali’s most treasured pet was a Columbian ocelot named Babou.  

Yes, the cats flying through Dali Atomicus by Philippe Halsman are normal house cats flung with pitchers of water through 26 stagings to capture the cats, the water, the chair, and Dali suspended in a single well-composed shot. 

Yes, Dali’s biological heir could receive up to 25% of his estate.

Yes, Dali perfumed himself with cow dung and fish glue to achieve an individual smell. 

Yes, Dali harbored dollar bills in his mustache and was arrested for throwing a hairy bathtub through the window of Bonwit-Teller.

Yes, the newly discovered “Mickey’s Toothache” is the Dali drawing for Disney Dali did not draw.

Yes, Destino, by Dali and Disney, storyboarded at the end of WWII, was abandoned and “finished” by traditional animators many years later.

Yes, in 1950 on “What’s My Line,” Dali attempted to answer “yes” to every question but could not pull it off.

Yes, Dali was expelled from art school for insulting his professor during a final exam.

Yes, a Dali sketch was stolen from a New York Gallery wall in 2012 by a lumberjack carrying a plastic bag and was mysteriously recovered soon after. 

Yes, Dali’s pre-war novel Hidden Faces revolved around the romantic terror of pre-war Europe.

Yes, Dali and Garcia Lorca were rumored to be romantic: handholding, hands on hips, hands on shoulders, arm in arm, in photos.

Yes: “You are a Christian storm and you are in need of some of my paganism… I will go get you and give you some seaside medicine. It will be winter and we will light a fire. The poor beasts will be trembling with the cold. You will recall that you are an inventor of marvelous things and we will live together with a portrait machine…” Dali to Garcia Lorca in a 1928 letter.

Yes, when Dali’s wife died, he retreated to a castle in Spain and refused eat and drink for a while. 

Yes, a fire consumed his bedroom.

Yes, a flood of fakes poured from the hands of his caretakers.

Yes, Dali’s nurse overheard him whisper on his deathbed “my friend Lorca.”

Yes, not everything in memory persists.

Yes, the body of Salvador Dali was exhumed from a crypt designed by Dali himself at the Salvador Dali Theater and Museum.

Yes, no DNA evidence supported the claim of the housekeeper’s daughter.

Yes, you can purchase a Salvador Dali fragrance: Crazy Kiss, Little Kiss, Lovely Kiss, Last Kiss.